I just need some cake.

Currently Listening To: Always // Pate No. 1
'...tell you a story about boy and girl; about love; about desperation...'


Sometimes I'd wish you'd wake up and realise just how hard it is for me to be your friend. When I so obviously need more than the scraps you give me. You throw me sideways comments in hope that I'll return them.
I have a new policy towards you. I can't talk to you. I won't talk to you. You need to put in this initiative otherwise I see no other way of functioning in this crappy excuse for a friendship. Why do I have to do all of the work to make this a functioning relationship?
Ugh, sometimes I wonder why I bother. I'm getting so hurt in something that I want to save. And you offer no help. Why are we even doing this? You don't want to pretend like you have to include me and you pretend like you're so dependent and I just want you to want us to work as friends. But you offer no help. I just wanted to co-exist peacefully and thats so much harder than you know. And this extra load of trust you've gone and dumped onto me is so much harder to deal with ontop of just trying to be in your company without wanting to jump off a bridge.

I wish this was still year eleven and that everything I did from then on didn't exist and I could be selfish for just once and take what I wanted.
But I never do. I'll let you keep walking all over me in attempts to be there when you're hurt and you realise how much you need me. I'll just wait for things to even out on the karma scale.
I love you, do you realise? So stop being such a bitch and just wake up to the reality that I actually care for someone other than myself, even if you can't.

- dyanne. ♠